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Maid distance, Happy woman ?

For the past 2 weeks, we spoke about mistakes that employers do when hiring maids. If you didn’t read the first mistake please click here

The last mistake I’d like to talk about is the interaction the maid has with the family members in the home. I have said this before and will say it again. A helper/housekeeper /nanny or a little bit of both is unquestionably one of the essential workers undervalued. I believe they are underpaid and probably disrespected for a number of reasons , yet for centuries, they have raised our future presidents and leaders of tomorrow. I can’t imagine not having this service and I’m sure many of you especially those in the 1st world countries would die for such services at such low charges.

I have spent days , sometimes weeks and even sometimes months without one.That was the most terrible ordeal time of my life. I moved from looking like this undefined to this below


Mistake #5

  • Your helper is yours alone not your husband’s. She is there to assist you in getting more organised. My sister, your bedroom is yours alone and so she should keep out of that completely. Clean it up for yourself. If it means doing it once a week, do so. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
  • If you work from home like I do or If you can get home earlier etc, be the one who does the cooking. The quickest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. Can i just mention that , 3 days ago I found out about a friend’s husband who was sleeping with his maid. She did all the cooking and used juju , yes black magic works, to enchant this man. The first thing they noticed was a bowl of a claypot with a doll and names undefined

undefined under the children’s bed. It’s not everyone who gets employed with good intentions. They fired her. She started calling the wife threatening her that the sex had not been con-sexual and claimed rape. Unfortunately, the wife works far from home and can’t cook for her husband. In such a case, employ an older woman. Do not employ a young hot bloodied girl or even a middle aged woman. I’d go for an older woman.

  • Never hire who you can’t control or fire. The reason I mentioned in my previous blog to interview a lot of people is that you can detect how you feel about someone when you meet them. What’s the energy you are receiving from them? If you are not convinced by the answers you are receiving from the person. Don’t hire her. I’ve always gone against my intuition and regretted it.
  • You cater for your husband’s needs. That is to say, if he wants salt, pass him the salt yourself. I mean, in the African culture, the wife should dish up for the husband and know where all his belongings are. Basically, the helper is there to help you with everything else except your husband’s stuff.
  • I think the maid’s contact details should be in your phone only. This texting back and forth between your helper and your man is unbecoming. If there is no bread in the house, as the lady of the house or Oga in Nigerian language, she should tell you not your husband. Keep that distance please. I once mentioned to this other older lady in her 50’s I talk to when i want to vent my issues that I was tired , you know with all these rules etc and she said to me in her words specifically,

'Mukasasimba nemba yenyu amai , munozviloser" translated to that i needed to reign in my household and stop lagging behind.

I switched on immediately!

  • I know we want to pretend as if that is not important but truth be told, as wives we look at all this. How does your helper dress? Every workplace has a dressing code. Need I say more!Be vigilant!
  • Nomatter the friendship and good vibes you got with your helper, please don’t give her your old clothes that your husband may find appealing. People tend to go a mile when given an inch.She is your daughter etc yeah ,yeah. NO! Remember you aren’t related. In this case let me remind you of Ivy Kombo , you know the sensational gospel artist who is happily married to Bishop Addy Kasi , although she wasn’t a maid , she wasn’t related to the former wife either and well…….
  • Know your husband’s weaknesses. What kind of women does he like? Large bossomed? yellowbones? black bones? anything??? (undefined then you are in trouble my sister! Avoid hiring such.
  • What sort of conversation is there between your husband and your helper? I believe a nice good morning, good afternoon is appropriate. Anything else should be beyond their acquaintance.

I don’t claim to have all the answers to life but I do know that this helped me a lot when I got married. I was advised by someone wiser and older and have guarded this jealously.

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